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"Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

ghostflo:

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.

the not listening thing is SO IMPORTANT. my parents threatened to take away my phone and computer to find out about my feelings because i “wouldn’t” talk to them about it. it took my therapist to convince them that i had been trying to tell them exactly what was happening but they just didn’t listen to me when i said it.

lifeislikeabadrpg:

uglylilmonster:

lifeislikeabadrpg:

"Don’t be defined by your condition" often seems to mean "pretend your condition doesn’t shape your life or else".

"Don’t let [traumatic life-altering event that causes long-term emotional, mental, and physical health problems] define you" often seems to mean "stop talking about [traumatic life-altering event] and pretend it never happened and doesn’t shape your life or else".

This is an important point.

smoonie:

test-your-luck:

IF YOU WENT TO SAN DIEGO COMIC CON OR KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS, PLEASE READ.

One of my dearest friends was found on the side of the road, unconscious and bloody. She was wearing this cosplay on the day it happened. She was last seen with friends when she ran off after a disagreement. Please, please, please, if you have ANY information or saw her anywhere, contact her mother. The full information is down below. This isn’t okay and it’s sickening to know that this happened at a place people truly can enjoy themselves. Please spread the word.

 ”I just received a call from the San Diego Police Department and my daughter Emily Weyer aka Milly Makara was found on the side of the road covered in blood with no ID unconscious. They are unsure what happened to her. My husband is on his way to the police station and then the hospital. If you have any information on what happened to her please send me a facebook message or call me at 951 229 3394. Thank you in advance”. -JILL WEYER

For any of my followers who was at SDCC and saw this person, her name is Emily (AKA Mille Makara). She was an attendee and was possibly taken and assaulted.

San Diego Police are trying to find out any information, timelines, even if she’s in your photos. Scour them for her.

More information, to let you know it’s no hoax.
http://graphicpolicy.com/2014/07/29/sdcc-2014-police-need-your-help-concerning-a-cosplayer/

Please boost, help the police nab whoever attacked Emily.

(Source: jshaath)

While it’s never wonderful to see a company so incredibly unbalanced, the demographic data provide greater transparency behind who makes critical decisions about the product, features, and policies of a vital tool for digital feminism. These numbers help us to establish an understanding of where we are now so we can aim further tomorrow. And when we see that nearly 80 percent of leadership at Twitter is men, it’s hard not to think about how that impacts features like protecting users from online harassment and online threats. This difference of experience compels feminists like those from Take Back The Tech to call on social media companies (including Twitter) to be more responsive to online harassment against women. Chances are that folks who have never encountered online sexist vitriol might not be the best people to create effective policies against it.
Why feminists need to demand a more diverse Twitter (via brutereason)

D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes

optimysticals:

twistedviper:

raktajino-hot:

corruptionpoints:

mindchildofmadness submits:

Strength is being able to crush a tomato.

Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.

Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.

Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.

(Source)

image

If I stop reblogging this assume I’m dead

Every time I see this I get tears down my face from laughing.

thattrollwiththehorns:

mrsomnix:

thelaststarbunny:

captorvatingmituna:

ilikecomicstoo:

sigh.

This needs more notes ._.

Here I am reblogging this from myself because I think everyone who breathes needs to see it and MAKE IT STOP.

This is a joke. He interviews people and makes jokes. Calm your feministic self down.

Get out. If you honestly think that, I want you to unfollow me right now.

That guy isn’t joking, and if he is, its a god awful joke, and has no right to be supported. If he’s joking, then its an example of institutionalized misogyny in comedy that has been built up over the years and decades past, and it is not acceptable.

I am uncomfortable with those jokes, and I’m a GUY. It isn’t ok to do to ANYBODY, let alone people who are trying to enjoy a convention and cosplay a character they like. This is disgusting and shit like this needs to stop, from all angles, even someone trying to make a shitty joke.

Women are not objects, and they should not be treated as such.

If you think this guy is funny for doing that, and if you honestly think I need to calm down for being “feministic” in this issue, then you need to unfollow me, because I have no intention of stopping. And now that you’ve drawn attention to yourself with this, I highly suggest you don’t bring it up again.

In fact, I recommend you take a good long look at yourself. Take a look at how you are treated, and how other people around you are treated. If you think this is comedic and funny, you need to check yourself, because its not. If you think joking about women in such a way that demeans them and objectifies them, you need to check yourself.

And above all else, if you think someone standing up for equality of women and the cessation of this shitty behavior from EVERYONE, not just this comedian, warrants someone like YOU telling that person to “calm [their] feministic self down”, then you need to reconsider your priorities in life.

(Source: marlene)

Russia celebrates Pride publicly, even after being told to host parade "in a landfill"

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gaywrites:

About 150 people celebrated Pride in Russia this past weekend at the Field of Mars park in St Petersburg — a small number with major significance. 

Not only is Russia notoriously homophobic, but its Pride events face huge pushback from officials who mock and degrade them. City authorities denied activists a permit to hold this year’s parade, and instead recommended they hold the event in a landfill. 

Yury Gavrikov, the chairman of Ravnopraviye (Equality), said the suggestions made by the authorities are a ‘classic’ example of their attitudes towards gays.

Despite this opposition, the pride event held yesterday went without any major incidents.

Queerussia.com reports the event was secured by police, and there were no violent outbursts or counter-groups protesting.

Bravery and strength in the face of so much hatred. Russia’s LGBT community never ceases to amaze me. 

So proud of all these amazing queer and trans people refusing to be bullied or oppressed by the evil FASICT FILTH that is trying to oppress and persecute them in Russia and refusing to let  the bigots keep them from celebrating Pride  <3

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